Gender double standards
I have now finished all of my studying for my personal trainer certification, and I have my assessments booked for mid-March. So by the end of next month I should – finally – be a fully qualified PT!
One part of my studies I did not enjoy was the different approaches you supposedly must take when training women as opposed to men. The course stated that, assuming a woman is even willing to touch a weight, she will want to stick to high repetitions, bodyweight exercises and plyometrics. Even though they acknowledge that it is not the most beneficial way to train, the course recommends you just accept it and train women in that way.
No thanks. I don’t want to conform – I want to make others conform to my standards. Whoever you are, man or woman: I want you to find the heaviest object you can, lift it up, put it down again, and repeat as many times as possible.
I am sick of hearing that men should train one way, and women another. Women are expected to do yoga, zumba and use the elliptical (Note: I regularly do yoga myself, but it is a complement to my program, rather than the sole component).
While women are turning to the weights room more than ever before, their workouts are usually not of the highest quality. How often do you see a woman squatting, deadlifting or benching a max, completing unassisted pull-ups or dips, or training until she pukes? Apparently that’s not very ladylike.
Although I think high repetition work occasionally has its place in an endurance-based program, I would recommend eight or less repetitions nine times out of 10. If you want to be strong and appear defined, you have to push your body to its limits – and supersetting cutesy bicep curls with bodyweight lunges isn’t going to cut it.
Mainstream media often promotes the idea of ‘toning’ and lengthening your muscles through high-repetition activity. I could write a whole post on the incorrect use of the word ‘tone’, and it is physically impossible to ‘lengthen’ your muscles without breaking your bones apart!
It is very difficult to reach muscle failure with 20 repetitions. I can almost guarantee that you could use the weight you’re lifting 20 times for 30, 40 or even 50 repetitions. Clearly that is not enough resistance to cause the muscle to change.
One figure competitor I have previously mentioned recently made a comment that made me die a little inside. I won’t reveal who it was as I’m hoping she will one day redeem herself, but she said that women should only train their legs by doing sprints mixed with occasional workouts, keeping the repetition range above 20.
Ugh. Not only will 20 squats not give you as beneficial results as doing six to eight heavier reps, it’s boring as anything! She was implying that slapping some decent plates on a bar will make you bulky. Do I really need to say it? Ladies will not get bulky without the help of some ‘special’ supplements.
This morning I was doing chest presses with 18 kilogram dumbbells (woohoo!) and a girl working out next to me commented that I was really strong. I gently suggested that she should try picking up a heavier weight for some of her exercises, seeing as she was doing a circuit of lunges, shoulder raises and single arm rows with the same set of two kilo dumbbells. She screwed her face up and said she didn’t want to get bulky. Hello?!

I’m hardly bulky!
90 per cent of the time I train as heavy as I can. The only time I ever go beyond 12 reps is during a warm-up set, or doing a deload week. I rarely do plyometrics, and the only bodyweight exercises I do are push-ups.
Assuming that you will get bulky from lifting a decent amount of weight is a slap in the face to those of us who are purposely trying to gain muscle. Do you know how many years of hard training and eating like a horse it takes to get a body that looks like thIs?
I understand that not everyone will idealise the same body type as I do. For example, when my friend Steff was here on holiday I happened to watch the video below. Steff exclaimed with a crinkled face, “Oh my god, she’s so muscular”.
I know I’ve been watching too many videos of Ronnie Coleman when I responded, “really?” Ha! It’s funny how two people can have vastly different perceptions. Erin Stern has my ideal body but, I definitely did not always think that way.
When I first started weight training, I spent the first 18 months doing bodyweight circuits and using light weights. All my sets were 15-20 reps, and I only owned two sets of dumbbells: 2 kgs and 5 kgs. Do you know how much change I saw in my body? Zero. I was following workout routines from female fitness magazines five days a week, and running every single day, and my body did not change one bit. In fact, I actually gained more body fat!
When I stopped doing cardio and focused on lifting as heavy as I possibly could during each workout is when I saw the greatest changes in my body. Even now, my body changes with each month that goes by. I like knowing that I’m inching closer and closer to my husband on certain leg exercises and I like knowing that I have always tried my hardest, even if sometimes I can’t physically get the weight up. I would never go back to being that girl who wastes time lifting the baby weights.
PS. This is my 100th blog post – I can’t believe it! Thank you all for reading and following, and I hope I can come up with another 100 decent posts.








Well that was a great post babybear. For everyone out there who reads u shouldve met Tara 2yrs ago. It was hilarious. All cardio and not a single weight lifted. She loved running and she said she hates gyms and would never “EVER” set foot in one!!!! She now watches Ronnie Coleman vids with me?!?! Talk about a flip flopper……. Oh well, I’m glad she lifts and has a passion for it. I hope she has the body and strength she’s always wanted. Honey if I could get fat so u could be Sterny, I’d do it in a heartbeat for you. I love u and great job getting to 100.
“Everybody wanna be big but nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weight….. Ok, I WILL!!!!!!”
Ron Coleman
Haha, yes I was a bit of a silly girl back then
I love the big Ron! Yeah buddy!!
Another great blog Tara – I absolutely loved reading it.
Good on you for reiterating the message that women do not get bulky from lifting weights. Keep smashing the lie! Also congrats on your 100th blog. I’ve only recently signed up to receive your blogs, but I literally HANG for them when they come through! Each one of them inspires me to keep focused & train harder. Keep ‘em coming, these blogs are awesome!
Thank you, Kylie! That’s so sweet of you to say, and I hope I can keep inspiring you to be stronger
Great post! I refuse to conform to the status quo of lifting for women too. I much prefer low reps and routines like 5×5 rather than throwing around barbie weights haha I mean, who wouldn’t want to look like Erin Stern or Dana Lynn Bailey, they’re smokin if you ask me! I think it’s great there are women out there who arent afraid to push the boundaries when it comes to exercise.
Oh and congrats on your 100th post!!
Low reps are so much more badass! If I had the choice between doing four reps and 12, I know what I would pick every time
haha i can definately agree with you on this. down with cardio (for weigh loss atleast, it still has it’s benifits) and everyone nees to strike tone from their vocabulary. no one can agree what it means.
P.S. my definition of tone is just low body fat with good definition.
P.P.S. 20 rep squats with your 10 rep weight. brutal.
Ha, well most people take “toned” to mean low body fat with clear muscle definition. Muscle tone actually has nothing to do with muscle size or body fat, it refers to how much the muscle contracts at rest. So my four-year-old niece could have more muscle tone than someone like Dana Lynn Bailey!
well then in that case i’m now enlightened. i have no idea if my muscles contract at rest thou, nor what style of routine create that effect.
Wow congrats on your 100th post, and what a great one at that!! I can’t believe that they’re still teaching that way in PT courses, especially saying that we know it doesn’t work but do it anyway?! I started out a lot like you, and also like you didn’t see any major changes until I started lifting heavier weights. Hopefully we can slowly get more women to make this change!!
Thank you
I hope that my female clients will just give me the chance to change their bodies and get rid of these ridiculous pre-conceived notions. My certification has some great content, but things like this make me shake my head!
UGH! I can’t believe they teach this. What if we went to the doctor and didn’t agree with their course of treatment? Would the doctor conform to what we wanted to do instead? Um, no. The doctor would educate us on WHY that was the best course of treatment. So silly. Keep on keepin’ on, girl! Lift heavy, live long!
That is a great way of putting it!! Exactly what I thought too. As professionals, why should we be accepting what the general population think?! Why aren’t we trying harder to change their mindset??
can i get an AMEN sister!!!!!!!!!
)
thank you for posting this!
i totally agree!!
and love the video of erin stern,
makes me feel good that i can row as much as she can!! (except i need a plate on my lap to hold me down
congrats on the 100th post too!!
i always enjoy coming over here for a good read!
Thanks Melissa!! I don’t know if you’ll read this, but I haven’t been able to comment on your blog lately
I have no idea what’s going wrong, but I’ll send you an email later today
Great post as always! =) Honestly the “oh my gosh I’m afraid I’m gonna put on way too much muscle too fast!!” thing kind of offends me. It makes the whole process sound easy when in reality it’s taken me TWO YEARS of training correctly to get my calves to 14.25″, and my squat to 225. You’re not going to overdo it one do and OOPS be super strong and muscular. Gah!
Haha at first it did offend me but now I sort of chuckle. I think so much has been said to disprove the myth that if these women are still thinking that way they’re just deluded! I think you are a freak of strength, Sable, so any woman would be lucky to make the gains you have in only two years!
Man I’ve lost count how many times I’ve had this conversation with feemlas. If I had a dollar for every time you know the story. It’s mind boggling that with all the information flying around that they still buy into the crap line that they will get bulky’ And when you try to explain that it’s a myth, their eyes glaze over and they act as if they are just humoring you by listening when in fact it just goes in one ear and out the other. Let’s face it, anyone who REALLY needs to read this, isn’t going to. If you tell them about it, they’ll skim over it and not pay attention to the message. They’ll just take the position that it comes from a training philosophy that is counter to their own and that their trainer’ is a better expert. Or they will take the info back to their trainer’ who more than likely is clueless about Crossfit and will tell them it sounds good but my way is better because you won’t get hurt’. I could go on but what would be the point?
Some of your complainers should meet my group class trainer at my gym. She would be barely 50kg and she has more weights on the bar during the body conditioning class (cardio with weights) than most men in the room. And she hardly raises a sweat doing it.
Strength does not always equal bulk.
Exactly! The stronger you are, the smaller you are actually likely to be. It’s quite ironic.
What a great post! I’m appalled that certs are still advocating that men and women train differently, but I’m so excited that you know better and are spreading the word of strength!
I was stuck spinning my wheels for years chasing the “tone” with dinky weights. My body didn’t transform until I dialed in my nutrition and started slingin’ some serious iron.
Love this!
Thanks for commenting, Jen! You are one of my biggest inspirations so it’s an honour that you liked my post. I’m glad you saw the light, so to speak!
congrats on 100 posts! you and kelsey hit 100 at the same time
Dana Lynn Bailey…is a freak of nature, I’m convinced.
Haha I know. She must be awesome if Rob watches her training videos for workout inspiration!
I agree! I’d way rather feel strong then look like some weak stick haha..ive been there and done that and i hated my body. I like my body when I can see muscle definition! alot sexier then skinny with no muscle in my opinion! bahahhaaha @ Rob calling you babybear..thats what i call my 5 month old son!
Hahaha he has a lot of names for me but it’s hilarious that’s what you call your son!
First off, happy 100th post
I only read ONE post today (I was so busy) and it was YOURS – obviously! XOXO
Anywho,
lovely post
I love the word “cutesy” HA! I laughed
I also never understood the whole “lengthening” muscle thing. It sounded too weird to me in order to buy into that phrase!? Haha. Seriously? Lengthen your muscles? Uhm, OK!?????
I too have changed the image of my “ideal” body. It used to be skin and bones (yuck), but now much like you, Erin Stern is someone I admire
Look at her muscles. I love that “solid” look. Who wants to look like the wind could blow them over!?
Honestly, fab post girl
I LOVE IT! A great one to celebrate the 100th
Especially since it had a picture of you
<3
Thank you! I used to want to be as skinny as possible, but now I look back at that and think I must have been crazy!! Ha. If I looked like Erin it would be a dream come true
Congrats on 100 posts, Tara!! Thank YOU for continuing to be such an inspiration to me! Of all the blogs I read, yours is one of the most informative and encouraging! I truly value your insight. <3
This is yet another post I LOVED reading. I used to do the high rep/low weight thing, but now I try to lift as heavy as possible without compromising form. But that's often an issue—determining when I'm compromising form. Sometimes I feel like I could be lifting heavier, but I know that if I do, I may have to bend my back, scrunch over etc. What are your thoughts about this?
HUGS! xoxo
Aww thank you, Sara. That’s so sweet of you to say
Did you read this post of mine about form?
http://sweatlikeapig.com/2012/01/13/are-you-training-like-a-bodybuilder/
I think sacrificing form is okay at times, but you have to be smart about it. If you’re having to bend your back to lift heavier, then you’re not ready to increase weights yet. Stick with the weight you’re using and soon you’ll be ready to move up!
happy 100th lady! so happy for you
Thanks Julie!
Congrats on your 100th post! Thanks for all the informative posts
Now I understand why pretty much every personal trainer (actually make that EVERY personal trainer) I have seen at gyms has given me pretty much the same program! A trainer at my current gym got all offended that I am using an online trainer, especially when you get a free program every three months! Um no offence but I see the trainers taking girls through the exact same program every day. Thanks but no thanks!
It’s interesting also how your perception changes – I was always about cardio cardio cardio and a few crunches! I remember my partner saying how he thinks Michelle Bridges is hot and I said “really? She’s so bulky!”
That sounds exactly like the trainers at my gym: they give all the girls the same pissy workout week after week. And people pay $80 an hour for it!
When I first saw Erin Stern I thought she was seriously bulky, but now I think she’s perfect. I actually look at Michelle Bridges now and think she is too scrawny! Haha, it’s funny how perception changes.
I’m sorry the only thing I remember from thist post is I’m only pressing 5kg less then you!!! Woo hoo! I am proud of myself! Lol. Great post! I hate cardio!!!
Haha, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were out-pressing me. My chest is my weakest body part!!
Oh my goddd Finally! Some had to say it
! I am sick of it too! Women can lift, they will not get bulky and its a sure way to to move forward in the right direction WITH training
God. I wish I could have abs like Dana Bailey…..
Congrats on the 100th post!
Don’t we all wish we could have abs like DLB?
Hey Babybear (yes, I often read Rob’s comments! I think it’s so sweet that he does comment!) I think you will easily come up with another 100 terrific posts! How can you not, you’re a brilliant writer, and your knowledge of fitness never ceases to impress me, but teach me. And can I just say to this post: Amen sista! I am so sick of women thinking they will get bulky lifting weights. But that goes hand in hand with women thinking they will get skinny by cutting back their caloric intake. Keep up the terrific posts Tara, you will have me coming back for the next 100!
Haha! You always make me laugh Sandra! Thank you so much for your sweet words, I hope I can keep you coming back.
happy 100th girlfriend! omg erin stern, amazing!
oh and lifting weights…heavy weights…also amazing!
Thanks Naomi! Erin Stern is the biggest inspiration
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Well, Tara, you’re going to end up to be one of those few trainers I admire. Most of them are gender biased, age biased, and whatever else you can think of. And you level of enthusiasm is delightful.
I just had a big discussion with a woman I reintroducing back into weightlifting. We did discuss how light weights are incredibly boring. Challenging is where the excitement is at. I’ve loved exercising for 5 years because I always challenge myself.
I do have enormous muscles on my arms, but I have always tended to have that muscle definition even before heavy weightlifting. Ironically, the women who worry most about looking like Arnold S. are the ones that you can poke around their arm for a bicep muscle and have trouble finding it.
Related but off topic–I hate the women’s weightlifting books/magazines. Although they try not to do it, they end up being dumbed down with too low of standards. And, a few months ago, one of the most popular fitness blogs had a post implying that men are more strong/fit than women.<<Disappointing.
Marion
Thank you so much, Marion! That is very sweet of you to say and I hope I do live up to your expectations
Exactly! Most women who are afraid to lift weights are the ones who need to do it most. Men naturally have a greater potential to be strong, but it doesn’t mean that they are.
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I totally agree that women should lift as heavy as possible- otherwise change is a long shot. I hate how women think they just want to tone….listen ladies- There has to be muscle to tone, you can’t tone bones! Ha
There was a girl at my gym last night that I went to high school with who looked extremely skinny to me. I workout with my mom and later on in the working I mentioned I though that girl looked skinny and my mom said- Carrie you used to look like before you started lifting! Wow I guess I never noticed how much my body truly has changed since I started lifting!
Haha, yes – you can’t tone bones!! I was just looking at progress pictures of myself over the past couple of years last night, and it was really shocking! You really don’t notice the changes if you see yourself every day, which is why it’s so important to take photos!
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