Trying to function

Trying to function

I was planning on taking a full week off after my competition, but I really didn’t feel that sore (I obviously didn’t work hard enough as it normally takes 4-5 days for me to even walk properly after a comp!). I also wanted to attempt to take my mind off everything else going on. I kept all my workouts very light and only 45-60 minutes long.

It’s not easy being in the gym where everything reminds me of my ex. Almost every training session I’ve done this year has been with him. He has left the gym but the memories haven’t. I’m hoping things will get easier with time or I may also have to find a new gym 🙁

Tuesday
Back squats: 20kg x 8, 8, 40kg x 5, 50kg x 5, 60kg x 5
Standing single leg curl: 15kg x 12 x 4
Military press: 20kg x 10, 30kg x 8 x 4
Bench press: 20kg x 8, 30kg x 8, 35kg x 5, 40kg x 5
Pushdowns: 30kg x 15 x 4

My lower back was a little tender so I didn’t go crazy. Starting this week I’m planning on repeating another cycle a la Andy Bolton to work on my speed and confidence under the bar.

Thursday
Log press: 30kg x 8, 35kg x 5, 40kg x 5, 42.5kg x 3 x 3
Single arm dumbbell press: 19kg x 3, 21.5kg x 3, 24kg x 1, 26.5kg x 1
Dumbbell overhead extension: 15kg x 12 x 4
Face pulls: 40kg x 15 x 4

I know that 50kg press must have taken a lot out of me, as 42.5kg felt heavy! I’ve also never struggled so much to get 26.5kg up. I have managed to avoid going to the gym at my normal time but, as I was training with a friend in the evening, I spent the whole time panicking that you-know-who would walk in the door so I couldn’t really focus properly.

Friday
Front squats: 20kg x 8, 8, 40kg x 5, 50kg x 5 x 2
Bent over rows: 20kg x 15, 40kg x 12, 45kg x 12 x 2
Seated rows: 45kg x 12 x 4
Single arm dumbbell row: 16.5kg x 15 x 4
Back extensions holding 10kg plate: 15 x 4
Dumbbell curls: 9kg x 15 x 4

I felt like a bodybuilder doing this workout! Look at all those reps, bro.

I’m still struggling to eat. On Wednesday the gym buddies and I went to see the Anna Nicole opera (yes, there is such a thing!) and I was force-fed burgers from Meat Market as all I’d eaten all day was an egg sandwich and two coffees. I have basically been living off coffee.

What, you mean you don't have greasy burgers before going to the opera?

What, you mean you don’t have greasy burgers before going to the opera?

We also had Union Shack Concrete (chocolate custard, chocolate hazelnut brownie and fudge sauce!) from Shake Shack. Yep, waaaay too much food for my poor belly.

concrete

On Thursday I ate pretty normally, but my appetite disappeared once again on Friday. I ate one meal on Friday at 4pm, and didn’t eat another proper meal until Sunday at 7pm! I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d eaten a vegetable, so I had some veggie-filled pasta, green beans and bread.

sun_pasta

I went out for way too many margaritas on Saturday and picked at some chips and salsa but that was it. Of course, I paid for it on Sunday when I couldn’t get out of bed all day… except to take some selfies in my new dress!

red_dress

I’m hoping things start feeling better soon. I’m trying to force myself to stick to a regular eating schedule when I’m at work, but I often feel nauseous when I try to eat.  I’m also trying to eat higher calorie foods – such as ice cream for dinner – so I don’t completely waste away.

ice_cream_dinner

I never thought my appetite would disappear – I don’t even know who I am anymore. This broken heart business is no fun at all.

Have you ever lost your appetite? How did you get it back?

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